and it very emotionally upsetting for me to comprehend that my own father cannot and will not accept the oppression and societal hatred for women as he is not willing to accept his own ignorant privilige. Do you have any tips for living with someone who you love but is extremely problematic? I can’t deal with it much longer and its really affecting me.

For those living at home with bigoted parents, at a certain point you just have to give up trying to convince them or getting in arguments with them and accept that there’s nothing you can do about it now.  And it sucks.  It really fucking sucks, and I’m so sorry.  Just remember the way they treated you so that, in the future, once you are independent from him, you can withhold your affection and relationship.  As kids, we vie for our parents attention and affection.  As adults, they vie for ours.  And if he’s a sexist, privileged bigoted ass who is unwilling to be educated or consider anything outside his own opinions and experiences, then he doesn’t get to have you in his life the way he wants to.  Your presence in his life as an adult is not a right, it’s something that he has to earn, and his unwillingness to engage with you peacefully or consider your opinions or treat you with respect will keep him from getting to have an adult relationship with you in the future.  You will be in control then, and you can use your presence in his life as leverage.

and it very emotionally upsetting for me to comprehend that my own father cannot and will not accept the oppression and societal hatred for women as he is not willing to accept his own ignorant privilige. Do you have any tips for living with someone who you love but is extremely problematic? I can’t deal with it much longer and its really affecting me.

For those living at home with bigoted parents, at a certain point you just have to give up trying to convince them or getting in arguments with them and accept that there’s nothing you can do about it now.  And it sucks.  It really fucking sucks, and I’m so sorry.  Just remember the way they treated you so that, in the future, once you are independent from him, you can withhold your affection and relationship.  As kids, we vie for our parents attention and affection.  As adults, they vie for ours.  And if he’s a sexist, privileged bigoted ass who is unwilling to be educated or consider anything outside his own opinions and experiences, then he doesn’t get to have you in his life the way he wants to.  Your presence in his life as an adult is not a right, it’s something that he has to earn, and his unwillingness to engage with you peacefully or consider your opinions or treat you with respect will keep him from getting to have an adult relationship with you in the future.  You will be in control then, and you can use your presence in his life as leverage.

  1. stoopidtrix reblogged this from misandry-mermaid and added:
    You literally just brainwashed a kid into abandoning her parents. Because identifying with the proper talking points is...
  2. floatingchrysanthemum reblogged this from misandry-mermaid
  3. thehordesofgenghisvsthedoctor reblogged this from misandry-mermaid
  4. otaku-bbe reblogged this from hanjobanjo
  5. hanjobanjo reblogged this from misandry-mermaid
  6. aleema reblogged this from misandry-mermaid and added:
    My father frequents Reddit. I didn’t realize it before then, but he’s a raging bigot with severe issues with women. He...
  7. chokerofbones reblogged this from misandry-mermaid and added:
    I hope this works for me someday. I’m so close and so ready to get out of my parents house and keep more distance...
  8. sitcomofmylife said: Wow and who was doing those school shootings that killed boys? Other boys, overwhelmingly other white middle to upper class boys.
  9. tree-trunks-pies reblogged this from misandry-mermaid and added:
    This is excellent commentary.
  10. greythegryphon reblogged this from misandry-mermaid
  11. whenigrowupiwillbeacat reblogged this from misandry-mermaid
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  14. cimness said: Just want to add that my granddad was horrible - violent, controlling, misogynist etc, but my mom was able to make a huge change in his behavior when she moved out by threatening not to visit anymore. Good luck to anon, hang in there.